John wrote:... What the hell are these people doing? And why am I here?
You know, every day I sit alone in my apartment for 14-16 hours per
day, reading the news, writing little articles. So I read stories
every day about babies starving, children raped, men beaten and
tortured, endless slaughter, mutilations, lost mothers, lost fathers,
lost children, starving children with exposed bones, enslavement,
child trafficking, child prostitution, child soldiers, and depraved
politicians hiring trolls to lie about their atrocities. Rarely does
a day go by when there aren't two or three stories that bring tears to
my eyes.
First off, crying is good for you if you immerse yourself in "mental filth" (ie the news).
Secondly, frequent long breaks from "mental filth" are necessary.
Take a break, dude.
When I was young, I didn't understand what was going on, and I figured
that I was too young to understand, and that I'd understand when I was
older. Well, that turns out to be true. I'm old enough now, and I
understand. And a lot of these politicians are really sick
psychopaths. Bashar al-Assad is the worst, but Vladimir Putin, Seyed
Ali Hosseini Khamenei, and Xi Jinping aren't far behind.
When I was young, I didn't understand what was going on, until I discovered that I DID understand perfectly what was going on, which was that a "sensible" person (the non-sociopathic/psychopathic) is incapable of understanding the machinations of "nonsensical" persons (sociopathic psychopaths), and therefore those machinations must be based on the dynamics of "nonsense" (psychopathic sociopathy).
Therefore I never fit into any "power structure" capable of "sustaining me", because I simply couldn't bring myself to be a psychopathic sociopath.
BUT,.. I could simply steal bits of power, here and there, and survive.
Most of every human society is composed of "successful" psychos, with a small minority of them being massively successful.
A seemingly little known fact is that you can choose to not "play that game".
And I even understand how it happens, thanks to Generational Dynamics.
It's really very simple. I've seen it in country after country. I've
started calling it the "democide pattern."
When two ethnic groups have a generational crisis war with each other,
they conduct the most horrendous atrocities on each other during the
war. The most sickening acts become the norm during such a war. The
people who conduct these atrocities become traumatized, and turn into
psychopaths and sociopaths. At the climax of the war, when the worst
and most sickening atrocities occur, the war ends. The top general of
the side that wins becomes head of government. This is a guy who
ordered one sickening atrocity after another, and now he can't stop.
He's the worst sociopath of all.
That "dehumanization" occurs everyday at nearly every business near, and far, from you. As does that "atrocity" and "trauma".
The "maximally magnified" versions of those atrocities, as you describe happening during climax wars, are just the natural extension of what the "Dynamics of Nonsense" (of psychos) must produce.
But, if you can give up the "need" to be "maximally affluent" you don't have to become a psycho.
..'course, it may kill you,.. but if you can (amusedly) play the angles, and distinguish "happiness" from "comfort", it's far from impossible.
... ...the propagandists, the psychopaths, the sociopaths, and
the collaborators all benefit from the Holocaust, and will protect it. ...
And in their deluded minds, the results of their psycho machinations, they "leak" the means of survival for "non-psychos".
Why do they cry "Never Again!" at all? To not stir the passions of non-psychos, who can and will disturb their status quo world.
So every day, every hour, every minute, I ask myself, why the hell am
I alive? I have no place in this world. Even if it weren't for the
fact that I'm going to run out of money and then I'll be forced to
kill myself, even forgetting that problem, there's still no place in
this world for me. This is an insane world which makes no sense to me
at all.
You're alive because you were birthed, and apparently have survived to this point.
Why are you here? See the sentence above.
You ARE your place in the world. You aren't GIVEN a place. You ARE a place.
So, are you a place in a largely insane world? Uh,.. yeah,.. by definition.
Is it a place you can try to deal with? That's a choice.
We all have to gauge how much work any particular choice will require.
And the feeling is mutual. The world would like to get rid of me as
well. Here's a typical conversation:
... Recruiter: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. [pause] Well, do you know anyone younger with the same skills?
Me: [Click]
The above is not a joke. It actually happened, and something like it
happens every week.
No. Actually it's a pretty damned funny joke!
It's an example of a psycho, playing his psycho game, in our psycho world, to make "psycho headway".
Why play psycho games, with very successful psychos, that only benefit psychos?
..play your own game, buckeroo!
So on both a global and personal level, I have absolutely no place in
this world. On the global level, politicians make ridiculous
agreements that no one cares about, and on the personal level I don't
even exist.
You do have a place, as you are that place.
Why do you care about the decisions, and estimations, of psychos?
You know you exist. Not acknowledging that you exist is simple an incorrect estimation.
HINT: USE other's incorrect estimations to "beat" them. Find the leak,.. collect the spoils,.. and laugh at the poetic justice of it all.
... If I disappeared, I would be forgotten by all but a few people within a couple of weeks.
To be perfectly honest, this is utterly true as far as I'm concerned. (Don'tcha love that SWEET sweet sugar coating!)
Why? Because you were done playing your game, and when someone's done with their work they're done with their work. End of story. The work will stand, or not, on it's own, and I'm certainly not in any position to judge the "whys" of ending the work where it ended.
... Did all of you see the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" It's like
I used to live in the real world, but somehow I got abducted by
a Toon, and now I'm trapped in Toontown, and I've turned into a Toon
myself, with no way back to the real world.
And remember "The Dip"? It's impossible to kill a Toon since, after
all, they're Toons. But Judge Doom has found a way, with
The Dip, a mixture of turpentine, acetone, and benzine.
When Judge Doom throws a Toon into a vat of The Dip, then the
Toon dissolves.
You've always been a toon. Everyone's a toon. But there is no "Dip", regardless of what "Doom" says.
So today, I'm trapped in Toontown and can't get out. ... Have you seen the <insert example of psycho here>? They compete with each other every day to prove to the world that they're the stupidest Toons of all.
And I keep wondering, why the hell am I here in Toontown? And if I've
turned into a Toon, and I can't get out of Toontown, then at least
tell me how I get access to that vat of The Dip.
ADVICE: Don't think in "What Ifs".
So you're a toon. Did you "change into" a toon, or are you simply "a toon" who (for whatever reason) thought otherwise?
Toons are not psychos. Toons are everybody. Toons are not the enemy.
The enemy is not the ink. The enemy is the enemy. Feed off of the enemy, and laugh at them while doing so.
..rather reminds me of "
Hampire" ((
http://www.sjgames.com/pyramid/sample.html?id=400 ))
- "Hampires are specifically a parody of Vampire: The Masquerade's Kindred, and live on It's a Dark World After AllĀ®, where they are divided into multiple feuding clans and feed on the ink of the living. Those fed on by a hampire lose their colour and may become hampires themselves, if the hampire wishes it, through the Hug. Not only do newly-littered hampires become ink-drinking un-Fallen Down, they also gradually become Funny Animal pigs. Unless they're already funny animal pigs, obviously."
Sorry about this long rant, and sorry to make it all about me. But
let's face it, I'm right. Look around. We do live in Toontown. ...
Yup. No argument here on that one...